I’m sitting here… in the bathroom. With the shower running. Reading email and Facebook and blogs on my phone… all to avoid the inevitable move into the shower, which leads to getting out of the shower, which of course leads, eventually to getting in the car and going to work.
I don’t want to.
I don’t want to.
I don’t want to.
It’s been a busy couple of months and frankly I’m exhausted. Nevertheless, on Saturday I will be traveling to the Lone Star state for work. Robbed of another weekend – and I’m trying not to take it personally.
The good news is that in a few weeks my brother and cousin (and her baby) will be here and I’m so excited to see them. I’ve been trying to woo my brother to SLC for ages. I’ve lived apart from my family for so long, I selfishly want to steal at least one of them away – even just for a while.
The bad news is that I haven’t finished the great middle and back room re-design before their visit. I had every intention of getting the floors and painting done before, but at this rate I’ll be lucky to get them clean.
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh…. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand….. breathe.
Not that I’m stressed out or anything…nope. Not me. Not at all.
Waltz Across Texas Tonight | Emmylou Harris
I was organizing my photos on Flickr, when I came upon this beauty. This face is expresses exactly what it felt like to have the job I did at the time.
There were certainly a few drawbacks to leaving that job behind – not seeing the very dear friends I made there as often is really the saddest and most pressing of my woes, but really for the job itself, I cannot complain.
My friends have moved on as well and when I think of us, together in the trenches, I really miss it. Not the trenches so much, but the bonds we created while trudging through them. My friend Lisa saw me make this face, probably countless times and even though I’m sharing it with all of you she’ll understand it better than anyone.
The Wire
Positive spin: Lars and I are finally caught up with the current season. We watched 5 episodes in a row last night alone – (It’s like crack, what do you want from me?)
Negative spin: Omar?! Really? But, I… but… really?
Driving
Positive spin: Having my own car is totally convenient.
Negative spin: Speed traps at the bottom of a big hill and the $82 ticket I just paid – they suck my balls.
Work
Positive spin: Best job I’ve ever had.
Negative spin: “Content Management” sucks my balls.
Diets
Positive spin: It’s really not that bad and I’m actually losing some blubb.
Negative spin: I would take a human life for an éclairs from The Bakery.
New TV
Positive spin: Basically this tv is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever owned.
Negative spin: Post upgrade, my Tivo won’t talk to my HD cable box…and basically a life without Tivo is not a life worth living. (At least once you’ve gotten used to it).
Positive spin 2: Melissa is going to come over tonight to work some of her super-electronic-magician voo doo on that shit. She’ll make them talk, yes, she will.
I’m sitting in the MultiMedia Center, typing on a foreign computer to pass the time while waiting for yet ANOTHER meeting. I absolutely love my job and have never been happier to do something for 8 hours a day, but would someone let me do it?! Ugh. It’s my own fault – I agreed to be on these committees – because that’s what people who want to get ahead do – and I know I wouldn’t even have the sweet job I do now – without being a committee-bitch – but, STILL.
I’m tired. I’m sick and I’m cranky and I’d rather have trolls nibble on my girl balls then go to another meeting right now.
This weekend was such a bust. All of our good intentions to FINALLY sand the floors went out the window Friday night when the sniffles, headaches and body aches began. I’ve made all sorts of commitments in my head to get tiny parts of the project done during the week – I could easily start filling in the holes, repairing the messed up planks etc… but, will I?
What it all boils down to is this: I have to finish this bloody project – my brain needs a place of peace and beauty to detox. I’m so tired of the constant loop of plan, avoid, guilt, plan, avoid, guilt. So. very. tired. I want time and brain space to be creative again. I want to write things, make things, sing things – but all of that energy is bogged down in this one place and I’ve got no one to blame but myself.
Of course all of this could just be the Theraflu talking. Shut up, Theraflu!
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