Lateshoes

I know that other-people’s dreams are about as interesting as watching Tom Cruise trim his toenails, buuuuuuuut…. I’m sorry, I just have to share. I promise I’ll be brief, but these types of random, ludicrous, disturbing dreams are truly rare enough to warrant discussion. I mean, after this one, I’m not so sure I won’t need some type of longterm therapy.

So, here goes:

Me, Lars and several friends are at Kelly & Shannon’s old apartment – only (and this part is creepy enough) we’re all hanging out on this giant bed.  Everybody is laughing and talking…whatever and then suddenly everyone is sleeping… together…in the giant bed. I’m kind dozing off when suddenly some guy lays completely on top of me. I start to panic but he tells me not to worry because he’s Steve Young (you know- famous BYU/ 49ers quarterback).

I say, “Listen, my husband is right there…. so don’t try anything.”

He puts his hand over my mouth and starts rubbing his crotch against my leg. I’m worming around trying to get away or wake Lars up, but he doesn’t budge. (Typical, “I sleep like a rock” Lars)

He whispers, “Can you feel it?” And then I sit straight up.

He’s put a giant chimp cage in the middle of the room and he’s got two, skinny, youngish men trapped inside and he’s taunting them and beating them up and also pouring colorful paint or liquid latex or something all over them (my subconscious mind borrowed that last bit directly from last week’s episode of Top Model).

We’re all screaming at him to leave the guys alone, but he just laughs, pulls out a gun and shoots the smaller one in the chest.  That’s when I woke up.

What the hell was that?