Lateshoes

Where do I begin? … “cackle?” or “hijacked?”

I think I’ll start with “cackle” since it seems fairly obvious you meant “gaggle,” or maybe you meant “cankle” as some sort of mean-girl reference to stompy-booted lezzies like Hillary Clinton. Who really knows? Perhaps you were Tweeting in tongues.

Now, let’s get to the meat, Sarah – the implication that a “cackle of rads” “hijacked” the term feminist. Hooker, a [cackle of rads] INVENTED feminism ergo they are incapable of “hijacking” it.

I could write a thesis on this one tweet if I weren’t, you know busy being ironic (& passe)….wait, I mean, lazy.

Sarah Palin Loves Socialized Health Care (When She’s Paying For It)

WTF??? Doesn’t this exactly prove the opposite of her position on health care? Am I crazy?

Top 10 Academy Award Mysteries: Explained

Second Life Sex Pervs Keep US Economy Afloat

Our Top 10 90s-Woman 90s Movies

Pass. The. Damn. Bill.

Rainbow Coalition: A Color Wheel Of Oscar Gowns

*A side note for Melissa (and anyone else who watches Project Runway) – Notice how blue and orange are opposites on the color wheel? I don’t know why this didn’t occur to me before, but – doesn’t that mean they’re an extremely compatible color combination? Outside of opinion and taste – color theory does not lie, PR judges.

More Than Words

Vivienne Westwood Victim Of Bizarre Stuffed-Cat Attack

The “Period Undies” You Didn’t Know You Needed

Just because Christina Hendricks is hot

And finally – this disgusting mystery solved!

You fucking hippie douchenozzles! Stop hollering at me to get out of your way just because you’ve got to ride a fucking Circ du Soleil bike through campus to pick up weed from your friend “Jello,” who’s a professional glow-sticker.

Shove your stupid tall bike straight up your ass.

I’m just saying.

via The Palins un-American activities | Salon

Of course no one will be yelling out “Terrorist” or “Kill HER” at any Obama/ Biden rallies – thankfully, because that would be totally scary and gross.

The McCain camp’s decision to paint Obama as some sort of Manchurian candidate may not have been the best. 

I thought they were a pack of Christians er mavericks, or Christian-mavericks, don’t they remember that whole, “he who is without sin, cast the first stone” thing?

Okay, I know it’s late, but I just have to get this out there before anyone beats me to the the punch – shwoo, okay – so, my porn name….are you ready? … Sarah Impalin! Ha! Get it?

Eh hem. Okay, nevermind. No, seriously -it’s good, right?

*First – can someone please make Sarah Palin stop staring directly into the camera? I don’t know who told her to do that, but it’s horrible and it’s scaring the living shit out of me.

*Neither Joe Biden nor Sarah Palin were made for High-Definition television.

*Whoever this “Rollins” guy is live-rating the debate on CNN is totally blowing his balls over S.P. “+9″….really, Rollins? Just because.

*Sarah, stop staring at the camera, please. Your hipno-toad eyes are hurting me.

*Holy shit – it’s 2 minutes later and Rollins is at +11 for Palin. I think someone’s got a crush.

*”NucU-lar weaponry”

*I like how S.P. keeps repeating the same three “Axis of Evil” leaders, because they’re the only three foreign leaders she knows about…and let’s face it, she probably just got their names crammed in her brain by Wolfram & Hart.

*Biden – “Facts matter.” – Thank you, Joe.

*Words to be removed from S.P.’s vocabulary: “also,” “there,” “Washington outsider,”

*Biden talks about Darfur and “We should rally the world to act.”

*S.P. – “Oh golly gee – see, gosh I’m just such a Washington outsider blah blah blah”

*Sarah, STOP LOOKING AT ME!

*Back to the CNN Analyst Scordcards – Rollins is out of his fucking mind…. “+37!” She isn’t drooling and she hasn’t lifted her skirt and taken a crap on the podium, but I don’t really see that as a huge triumph.

*DING! DING! DING! “Whatta ‘ya expect, we’re a team of mavericks!” and with that I just won Palin Bingo!!

*Did she really just promise “extra credit” to elementary school children for watching the debate? Did that just happen?

*Ok, I had to look this Rollins guy up because he just strained his scrotum giving S.P. another 6 points! Frickin’ “+43″… it’s Ed Rollins, Republican strategist. Great – now we can all imagine this goob choking his chicken to that photoshopped pic of S.P. in a bikini.

*J.B. just made me throw my hands up and cheer talking about his family.

*Say “maverick” again, lady. Seriously. GAH!

*Woo hoo. J.B. just is coming out of the box on the “maverick” bull crap! “So, maverick he is not on the important, critical issues that affect people…” Fucking sweet!!! It’s about damn time, someone said this. I think I’m in love. Now you get to imagine me choking my chicken to file footage of J.B. during the primary debates in 1988.

*S.P. can you please, please, I beg of you, please stop saying cliches to me. “Walk the walk” – “and also” Fuck you. Did you really just say that the media “filtered” you? Is that you you implied?

*S.P. “We have to fight for our freedoms.” Siiighhhh.

GAh! Turn her mic off!

“PRECIATE THAT!!!!” Gah! Turn if off.

I have to say that was an infinitely better debate than the one between Obama and McCain….thanks, but NO THANKS to my friend S.P.

God bless John Stewart, but can I just ask a question here?

Why is he the only one willing to skewer these rag-a-tronic bull crap machines? And with their own words, no less.

Katie Couric asked both Joe Biden and Sarah “Joe Six-pack American” Palin how they felt about Roe V. Wade.

As you might imagine, Palin’s “answer” to the question, “What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?” is “insane” and “horrifying” and no matter your political slant “totally stupid.”

Follow the babbling for yourself.

Couric Why, in your view, is Roe v. Wade a bad decision?

Sarah Palin: I think it should be a states’ issue not a federal government-mandated, mandating yes or no on such an important issue. I’m, in that sense, a federalist, where I believe that states should have more say in the laws of their lands and individual areas. Now, foundationally, also, though, it’s no secret that I’m pro-life that I believe in a culture of life is very important for this country. Personally that’s what I would like to see, um, further embraced by America.

Couric: Do you think there’s an inherent right to privacy in the Constitution?

Palin: I do. Yeah, I do.

Couric: The cornerstone of Roe v. Wade.

Palin: I do. And I believe that individual states can best handle what the people within the different constituencies in the 50 states would like to see their will ushered in an issue like that.

Couric: What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?

Palin: Well, let’s see. There’s, of course in the great history of America there have been rulings, that’s never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but …

Couric: Can you think of any?

Palin: Well, I could think of … any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But, you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a vice president, if I’m so privileged to serve, wouldn’t be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today.

I’ll say it again – wtf?

Her staccato-of-sass delivery may or may not fool you, but I dare you to diagram one, complete sentence in that entire exchange.

Read the whole story, including Joe Biden’s “elitist,” “intelligent,” and “informed” sounding answers here.

The real thing:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbQwAFobQxQ&hl=en&fs=1]

Yargh – WordPress won’t let me embed the damn thing -go here.

Sigh. Life has been -busy. So busy, in fact that I can barely muster Twittering, let alone full-fledged, thought-out blogging. At least the kind of blogging that goes anywhere beyond – “Sarah Palin = wtf?”

I barely know what to say now. I only know I’ve missed you, blog. I’ve missed you so. I want to tell you that I’m not sure if I’ll even make it through this entire season of Top Model. I want you to know how much and how deeply I hate “Sharepoint,” – How it’s unpredictable and cruel like a Disney villain. I want to remind you once again that I HATE sun dried tomatoes and no matter how many times people try to slip them into my food, I will never be convinced that they are anything other than super-sweet, concentrated poison. 

I want to tell you all about my new favorite show. It’s called Tiny Tots for Jesus, blog and they perform (and I use that term loosely) skits meant to train kids how to “share Jesus TO their friends,” that contain about 2% biblical relevance and 900% bull crap. For example – this extremely white woman with a blanket over her head, meant to indicate that it’s “Jesus Times” frantically tells this old lady about how her husband, “Colipicus” ran into a mysterious stranger, who he then invited to dinner. Then suddenly, while Jesus, er I mean, the mysterious stranger was passing the mashed potatoes, it was like “scales fell off their eyes” and they knew it was Jesus! Yay! The end. Excuse me what?

That’s total crap. Why not tell an actual story about Jesus? There are only, I don’t know – about 10 million in that book you keep saying you’ve read. 

This show expresses, in a nutshell exactly what I can’t stand about the “Christian Right.” Never mind what Jesus actually taught and stood for – you can just throw him in any old story and make it mean whatever you want…and then claim that the rest of us (“liiiiberals”) are sinners because your fake-Jesus story told you so. But, but… GAH!

**&O&Q*$(#@*&$@KERRRSPLAATTTI#U#()$*@(#*$Y(#Y$*****

Sorry, Tracy was unavailable to finish this post after her head exploded.