Omar (my Macbook) -yeah, I’m talking about that bitch again…he’s finally home from his long stay at Macdocs where he received a new Logic Board. Yikes! Thanks Applecare for picking up the check on that jacked up bit of guts you stuck inside my computer.
And now the original Omar. Please do enjoy a clip from the best show in the world.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pKE-JDjYog&rel=1]
Maybe it’s hormones or maybe it’s the fact that the sky has been pissing snow on my head for like, I don’t know 6 million days…or maybe the piss-snow has acid in it that’s rotting my brain – whatever the cause – I am really and truly in a state of utter bat-shit right now.
I’ve been butterfingers and impulsive and more than that – the winds of irony are really not amused with my routine.
So, The Dent – remember “the dent” on my Macbook that nearly drove me to run an ice pick up my nose? Well…4 things -
1. Last night I finally summoned the will to photograph the deformity. I took a million lovely pictures and only whimpered a few times.
2. I ordered a pretty and red hard shell case so that nothing like “the dent” would ever happen again.
3. Pretty red case arrived this morning while I was at work.
4. In a moment of utter craziness, I decided that the very minor kernel panic problem I’ve been having had to fixed immediately – so, on my lunch break I popped the Macbook Pro into it’s joke 0f a neoprene case to take it to Macdocs and before I could get it all the way into my bag, it slipped from my butterfingers onto my desk. I thought, it’s only a few inches I mean what could possibly….? GAH! Huge, enormous, gnarly bend on the bottom case near the vents!!!! Painfully, gnarly. With the new hard case, sitting at home!!
Deep breaths.
I called Apple and very, um… politely explained to them that the next time they design a 2000 dollar computer they might want to use materials a little sturdier than my recycled Diet Coke cans.
You may or may not know by now that I’m completely crazy – and if this is news to you then sit down my friend and let me explain. About 90 (or so) percent of the time I’m decently capable of keeping my “shit” together – but, the other 10 percent? Flippin’ nuts.
One of my more, let’s call them quirky personality ticks is something called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Though I’ve never been properly diagnosed, there is no denying it. Everything in my world has its place – its place according to me. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense to you that that book looks fine there – if it doesn’t make sense to me- my brain completely rejects it and I won’t stop thinking about it – I won’t rest until that book is EXACTLY where I need it to be. Sigh.
So, this morning when I took my laptop out of its case to find a nice (okay small) DENT on the lid – my motherfuckin’ crazy level shot up to eleven.
In the middle of the night last night, I woke up to find Io sitting on top of my computer (inside its case) so, I shewed her off and she jumped with all of her fatassitude off and onto the ground – leaving behind a small-ish, but very noticeable dent in my three week old laptop.
When I first noticed it, I immediately broke into a sweat, feverishly looking for some easy fix to my dilemma. Surely, it can’t be that hard. I mean something that can happen so easily to such a costly machine has to be just as easy to fix, right? You would think. But, no. Dent pullers won’t do the trick, you can try removing the lid but you run the risk of destroying your display – you can’t just replace the lid because it’s actually fused with an epoxy to the LED components (or something – I have no idea), so unless you want to replace the whole shebang (a whopping 800 bucks) you are out of luck. More sweating.
I don’t think I heard a word anyone said to me all day. The stupid dent was all. I. could. think. about. Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeent. There’s a dent. My beautiful, my precious….was… blemished, marred, scarred, bruised and forever marked like the girl who gets knocked up in Junior High.
How could Apple be so careless, I thought. Didn’t they know this would happen? Why didn’t they make me get one of those hard cases? Why didn’t they tell me I should sell my cat?
After many hours of unsuccessfully trying to massage, pull, clean and wish the dent away – I finally gave up, resigned to the fact that I would forever (or at least for a long while) be attached to this imperfect, banged up crackbook. I would have to answer questions.
“Oh, how did THAT happen?”
I would worry that if I ever have any hardware problems in the future, Apple would no doubt point to the scar and say, “Oh! No way, lady – it looks like you’ve played baseball with this.”
Ugh.
This little dent (pictures forthcoming – when I can bare it) had broken my heart and I was as obsessed as I’ve even been with any boy or band or film. I kept searching the internet and making frantic phone calls well after I understood it was useless.
I even prayed. I prayed for a cosmetic dent on my laptop! It was more a prayer for myself in the end, but still.
How could something so small destroy my entire universe for hours? Why do things like this get so far under my skin? I mean, other people would be mildly annoyed, realize it’s something that’s bound to happen and then get over it. Of course “other people” also watch According to Jim, so what do they know?
It took 6 hours and three episodes of The Wire for me to pull the damn thing out and type on it. But, now that I am, I realize that what I love about this computer isn’t just its beauty and design, it’s this. I get to type and tell my story. I get to read the stories of my friends and I get to connect with people I love. Okay, don’t tell anyone I said that.
Just as a sidenote though, while I’m like coming to terms and all – Steve Jobs, if you ever want to hook an OCD sister up with a new lid that would be really cool, right? Ya feel me?
Not that I’m still obsessing.
What?
Update: Pictures of the stupid dent!
