Dirty, Lazy & Broken
Well, I’ll start by saying that I just typed up a delightful little post for you that got stupidly blown away when my Whorepress iPhone app crashed and blew up. Even though I’d hit “save” a million times, it killed the post. So forgive me if this post is lame and keep in mind that my original attempt was without a doubt, magnificently clever.
Where was I? oh yes, I was going to talk about being a lazy sloth on my vacation and how being a slightly slimy, ill-groomed hag is so much easier to accomplish while mildly injured. Then I was like, oh right! I haven’t told you about my injury!
Well it’s a great story actually, you see I stepped in a hole with such a force so as to make my ankle (yes, the already bad one) go crunch under the weight of my gorgeous bag of bones and goo.
My dear friend, Tracey with an “e” very sweetly took me to the ER where I was x-rayed and blabbed at about how I had properly sprained my ankle for the 3rd time.
Interestingly, the doctor told me that the x-ray of my 2002 sprain revealed that I’d actually chipped away a piece of my fibula, which ruled out the same severity with this sprain. What? All these years walking around with an imperfect fibula?? Well, that certainly explains a lot.
My doctors from 2002 are lucky they weren’t around for the nose flicking they deserve for failing to divulge this fibula business 8 years ago. Harrumphed.
Anyway, that was a week ago today and I’ve managed to heal ever so slightly to the point of walking sans crutches… but the gross and painful bruising persists just enough to assuage any guilt about the rancid state of my body and house.
*I’ve typed the entire content of this post (twice) with my thumbs, on my phone from inside the bathroom with the shower running. Have I no decency? Certainly not.
