Lateshoes

Aging is weird. 10 years ago, I would have upchucked on about how cool older ladies look and blah, blah blah, wrinkles are neat, blah blah blah… – but, as I approach 37 and begin to notice the signs of aging on my own face, I’d like to quote the classic film, Don’t Tell Mom, The Babysitter’s Dead and say, “Whoa – slow down, you’re moving too fast for me.”

It all started with what I call my WTF? wrinkles between my eyes. I know you’ve seen this face, because I’ve most certainly directed it toward you at one time or another.

Here’s a blurry visual aid.

Anyway – lately – I’ve noticed those little WTF? lines even when I’m not making the face. Horror.

Then, I got this completely heinous eczema spot on my eyelid. It crusted and peeled and was generally nasty for close to a month.

Nothing would clear it up and most products I tried even made it worse. It was gnarly.

That’s when I started looking into natural remedies and I tumbled down a slippery, oily well of wonderful – healing elixirs of awesomeness.

Here are some of my favorites.

Argan Oil

Where do I use it? face, body, hair

What’s it do? clears acne, heals scars, smooths out and prevents wrinkles, softens dry skin, conditions hair

What’s the routine? In the a.m., I use this on any dry patches on my face. In the evening I use 2 drops to moisturize my entire face

What’s it cost? There are lots of fancy brands who will try to sell you Argan oil for like $80 an ounce, but you can get it at Whole Foods for $30 and online for $8. The $8 stuff is just as good as the $80, so…. don’t be too picky. (All argan sold is produced by a women’s cooperative that shares the profits among the local women of the Berber tribe in Morocco).

Shoes’ verdict? Amazing. I can’t say enough about this stuff. It’s dramatically reduced any signs of aging on my face including the WTF? lines and the fine lines beginning to form under my eyes. It’s also quickly healed old acne scarring and helps prevent and clear up any new spots.

Jojoba Oil

Where do I use it? face, body, hair

What’s it do?  moisturizes skin, softens cuticles, strengthens nails, makeup remover, removes scalp buildup, tames frizzy hair, preps skin for shaving and more…

What’s the routine? I use jojoba daily to moisturize my face at night, as a shave oil in the shower daily. I do a jojoba hot-oil treatment once every two weeks – I highly recommend this – it feels amazing and makes your scalp clean as a whistle and your hair as shiny as a hooker’s spandex pants.

What’s it cost? About $8 at Whole Foods, Smiths or Sunflower Market.

Shoes’ Verdict? Pretty great. I do use this on my face every night and I feel like it helps balance my skin, but I’m mostly in love with jojoba for what it’s done for my hair and scalp.

Coconut Oil (MUST BE RAW & ORGANIC)

Where do I use it? everywhere – seriously

What’s it do?  everything. Definitely click the link above to learn more, but here’s a start: full body and face moisturizer, cures eczema, dandruff and athlete’s foot, heals acne, conditions lips, conditions and shines hair, heals ulcers and acid reflux, polishes furniture, healthy alternative to butter and cooking oil and can even be used as a sexy-time lubricant (sans latex).

What’s the routine? I use coconut oil daily to moisturize my skin after the shower. Yes, I do smell like a macaroon, but I’ve come to love it. It makes my skin glow and not in a greasy way. It almost shimmers. Now, I’ll also tell you that coconut oil is what healed the eczema on my eyelid – I mean… it’s a wonder.

It’s also a delicious and healthy cooking oil that I use a lot.

What’s it cost? About $9 at Whole Foods, Smiths or Sunflower Market. Remember that you have to get the raw, organic stuff.

Shoes’ Verdict? Amazeballs. Coconut oil is magical, I want to start buying it by the tub.

Sweet Almond Oil

Where do I use it? face, body

What’s it do?  super moisturizes the skin and helps eliminate dryness, scarring and wrinkles on the body, heals eczema, soothes psoriasis and reduces dark circles under the eyes.

What’s the routine? I use this everyday to treat the dark circles under my eyes and also to soften my elbows and heals. It’s a wonder. Along with coconut oil, sweet almond oil helped to cure the eczema on my eyelid, so I’m pretty much indebted.

What’s it cost? About $6 at Whole Foods, Smiths or Sunflower Market.

Shoes’ Verdict? Love. It’s definitely doing something for my dark undereye circles and it’s a wonderful moisturizer as well. One word of warning – don’t use SAO if you have a nut allergy. La doy.

I’m sitting in the MultiMedia Center, typing on a foreign computer to pass the time while waiting for yet ANOTHER meeting. I absolutely love my job and have never been happier to do something for 8 hours a day, but would someone let me do it?! Ugh. It’s my own fault – I agreed to be on these committees – because that’s what people who want to get ahead do – and I know I wouldn’t even have the sweet job I do now – without being a committee-bitch – but, STILL.

I’m tired. I’m sick and I’m cranky and I’d rather have trolls nibble on my girl balls then go to another meeting right now.

This weekend was such a bust. All of our good intentions to FINALLY sand the floors went out the window Friday night when the sniffles, headaches and body aches began. I’ve made all sorts of commitments in my head to get tiny parts of the project done during the week – I could easily start filling in the holes, repairing the messed up planks etc… but, will I?

What it all boils down to is this: I have to finish this bloody project – my brain needs a place of peace and beauty to detox. I’m so tired of the constant loop of plan, avoid, guilt, plan, avoid, guilt. So. very. tired. I want time and brain space to be creative again. I want to write things, make things, sing things – but all of that energy is bogged down in this one place and I’ve got no one to blame but myself.

Of course all of this could just be the Theraflu talking. Shut up, Theraflu!