Dear Melrose Place,
You are awesome…and in your honor today, I:
So, basically I stink and look like 70 percent lips. Whatever.
One of my daily reads, 90′s Woman - posted a hilarious list that made me feel both proud and old. Check the list and my responses below.
Any of the following changed your life: Bikini Kill, Nirvana, 7 Year
Bitch, Hole, Babes in Toyland, Sinead O’Connor, Lisa Carver, Tank
Girl, Sister Spit, Liz Phair. Girl you know it’s true. Bikini Kill, Liz Phair, Nirvana… I’m looking at you
You have had a crush on any of the following: Paul Rudd, James Spader, Brittany Murphy, Winona Ryder, Johnny Depp (21 Jump Street era). Check. (Paul Rudd, of course)
You’ve read Sassy. I remember buying the Sassy with Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain on the cover at Broulim’s in Rexburg and thinking – I really want to Kool-aid dye my hair… and be in mega-cute, punk-rock love. What did I know?
You’ve defended sex workers or been one. Defended? yes. Been one? No.
When you heard Billy Corgan and Jessica Simpson were dating you got upset. I just couldn’t decide which one of them was slumming.
You’ve made a mix tape on an actual tape. …or about a zillion mix tapes on actual tapes.
You know lines from Clueless. I only watched this a few times, but I do know many lines from Reservoir Dogs and Glengary Glen Ross, so that’s counts for some 90′s cred, right?
You were kind of slutty for a while and aren’t ashamed. Not slutty enough. I was a bit of a make-out slut, but looking back I really could, maybe should have been much, much worse.
You’ve marched for abortion rights, against the first Iraq War, or for Take Back the Night. I got suspended from my christian high-school for drawing a peace sign in the white checks of my uniform skirt during the first Iraq War. Our principle was a retired colonel and a mega military hard-on who hated Mormons. So you can only image.
You have ever been into Wicca, eco-feminism, or liberation theology. I like watching Willow be into Wicca…and I’ve read a lot of Mary Daly. Does that count?
You have a speech ready whenever any of the following come up: Camille Paglia, WAM, Katie Roiphe, or the Michigan Womyn’s Festival. Oh, please don’t make me talk or think about Camille Paglia. Ever. Ever again.
You think any of the following items of clothing are hot: thigh-highs, plaid shirts, work boots with dresses, cat-eye glasses, chunky heels, baby-doll dresses, overalls, plaid, flannel, bra straps showing, barrettes. Shut up.
You’ve dyed your hair a color not found in nature, ideally with Manic Panic. Manic Panic and/or Kool-aid…my hair has been: green, blue, orange, pink, orangey red, turquoise and purple. I’m thinking of going blonde this spring, so look out.
You are all over your birth control responsibilities. Check.
It would never occur to you that women wouldn’t work or that men wouldn’t clean the house. Check.
You have self-identified as bisexual (even if you’re gay or straight). This one is funny. I’ve been consistently accused of going the gay way for most of my adult life… I just embrace it. It makes me seem much more interesting than I actually am.
You can do a feminist analysis of your favorite pop culture. I can do a feminist analysis of your face. That’s how good I am.
You started—or at least read—a zine. Now it’s a blog or tumblr. Well, duh.
You are both ironic and sentimental. But for real, not like that “like rain on a wedding day” Alannis Morissette irony song, which you have mocked but know all the words to. Yes. Of course not…. and fuck you. I wasn’t totally aware of this fact until I had to sing it playing Rock Band and I murdered it. In a good way.
Lateshoes has a new look! And to celebrate….a mix tape.
Since watching Whip It (which I LOVED) I’ve been listening to this Jens Lekman song on repeat. I love rediscovering a song after a long hiatus. It’s the ultimate crushy, lovey song without being twee or lyrically trite. I love it like a person.
Your Arms Around Me – Jens Lekman
Joe Jackson is so underrated.
Is She Really Going Out With Him
Heretic Pride – The Mountain Goats
In the spirit of my 90′s nostalgia I’ve pulled out these goodies.
St. Ides Heaven – Elliott Smith
I’m almost embarrassed to admit how much this song resonated with me. Besides not being literally true.
Sometimes I wonder how pissed off the members of Joy Division and Depeche Mode would be if they knew how much their music made me giggle with delight.
There was a time when I took the opening bass line of Transmission more seriously than my gigantic t-shirt collection and crunchy bangs. I would push play on my Sony discman and rock that shit with utterly disturbing levels of seriousness.
Now when that song pops up on my iPod, I find myself uncontrollably grinning from ear to ear. I turn it up and sing along and smile my brains out.
Driving back to work after a particularly lonely and depressing lunch at the park, Enjoy the Silence radiated from my crackling Subaru speakers and changed my mood entirely. I mean, Depeche Mode put me in a good mood, y’all!! And I guarantee you, Master and Servant would have made me even giddier.
I’m getting so old.
|
