Okay, I know I haven’t finished my San Diego story or written fuck-all, really but, I just have to get a few unrelated things off of my chest.
Maybe it’s the insane amount of “shark week” hormones running through my bloodstream right now or the stress of rolling out two major work projects at the same time, but I have been completely unable, as of late to let people’s “douche moves” slide.
You know all of those times when someone does or says something that just makes you go insane, but because you’re mostly normal, you sit there politely and smile and let it roll off because you don’t want to make a scene or hurt anyone’s feelings? Of course you talk shit or flip them off once they’re around the corner, but I mean at least you didn’t rock the boat.
Well, apparently the stress hormones, running amok inside my brain have obliterated that whole “polite” thing.
Douche Moves du jour:
1. dismiss my “expertise” and that of my department in a public meeting
2. send me a list of terrorist demands regarding the staff intranet
3. say that “design is content”
4. use the term “high-rez” more than 6 times in a sentence
5. ask me for “one-on-one” training because you haven’t been able to make it to one of the 9 training sessions already offered.
6. call me and ask me to “walk you through it.” (for 2 hours)
7. say, “I know you’re busy, but…”
8. complain about my Law & Order watching habits (You know who you are!)
9. use Lucida Grande font on EVERYTHING. It’s unreadable on a computer, people.
10. say, “I can’t come, I’ve got a haircut.”
11. ask me to “prioritize” something I’ve already done
12. ignore me when I say hello
13. tell me I don’t want that kind of sandwich, when I know I do.
*I reserve the right to add more when they come to me.
