Scrunchies and Surveys; the 90s are back, ya’ll

My dear friend Tracey tagged me in this resurrected survey from the 90s. I’m wearing a scrunchy. This shit is on.

As usual, let’s start off with your name: Tracy

And how old are you? 38

Are you anticipating your next b-day? I certainly hope to be alive for my next birthday if that’s what you mean. What are you saying? Are you trying to tell me something?

What do you plan on doing to celebrate it? Probably eating Indian food and skipping work – I must copy Tracey’s response in its entirety because, word.

Who will be there? During the day, probably no one, but at night the ghosts come out.

How is today going? I hate today. 8am meeting. Who does that? Who schedules a meeting for 8am?

What time did you get up? 6:30, I’m still mad about it.

Did you do anything fun yet? I ate an entire bag of Sour Brite Trolli Eggs, which were awesome and went to the Asian Market with Angie and got some rad scarves and scrunchies. All was well, but then I went to Costco and slipped on a piece of paper like it was a banana peel pratfall and landed one my knee and face. When I got home Lars made me a delicious tuna melt on gluten-free English Muffin and I iced my knee and painted my nails. I watched Revenge, Supernatural and Nashville and the world returned to its natural orbit.

So, where’s the one you like/love? Next to me in bed.

The last song you listened to, does it mean anything to you? Icona Pop – I Love it! It means a very funny scene from Girls a few weeks ago.

By the way, what is your favorite music genre? Genres are for pussies.

Was it the same 2 years ago? Definitely

If you could have anything to eat right now, what would it be? Probably just more Indian food. Pekoras. I could totally eat some pekoras in bed.

Beef,chicken, fish, pork or vegetarian? A little a’ this. A little a’ that.

What is your dad’s middle name? Mack

How about your mom’s middle name? Ann.

Do you have any siblings? Yes

What is your favorite wild animal? Direwolves or Dragons

And if you could be any animal in the world, which would you choose? Dragon.

What’s your favorite ride at the county fair? No thanks. I’ve seen Final Destination  3.

How about at a theme park? The Haunted House at Disneyland, during Halloween when it’s Nightmare Before Christmas themed. I love it so much I could pee myself thinking about it.
Also, the Tower of Terror and Space Mountain

Do you think you were reincarnated? My iPad Crystal Ball app told me I was a Geisha.

Are you religious? about television, food and laziness. So, basically lust, gluttony and sloth. I’m religious about those things.

When’s the last time you attended church? 1998/99. It was pretty spotty toward the end. I know it was around the time I graduated college.

Are you gay/bi/straight? This 90s survey isn’t being very inclusive or culturally competent right now.

Do you want to get married? I done gone and done it.

How about have kids? I’m feeling that out.

What age do you hope to have all that accomplished? 40, before I wither and die

What’s your dream career? Backup singer for Prince

Have you taken any steps toward getting there? I’ve tried calling him, but I just get the machine

What is you favorite hobby? Making fancy lotions and stuff

Have you always enjoyed this? Yes, since the dawn of time. Before I had hands

If you had to choose, would you rather not have music, or be forced to listen to Rap your whole life? The 90s were really weird about “Rap.” It would be sad to be limited to one thing, but there are worse genres to be limited to.

What’s the deal with your computer?  She’s old, colorful and dented. Just like me.

How long have you had it? 4 years

Is it slow? No, because it is no longer the 90s

Do you want a different one? She’s okay. If someone handed me a new one, I’m wouldn’t throw it down a flight of stairs.

Okay, so what’s your hair color? brown

Is it natural? Yep

What color would you dye it right now of you could? Orange like Mink Stole in Pink Flamingos

Would your parents kill you if you dyed your hair neon? They’d have to fucking catch me first.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings? Yes

Do you want some? Sure

If so, what? The lyrics to Invincible by Pat Benatar

What style do you enjoy wearing? Winterfell chic

Where’s your favorite place to shop? Asos, Ross, Goodwill, DI

Is it hot where you live? Not at the moment

Do you use a fan when you sleep? In the summer, yes. In the winter I have an air filter and humidifier going. NERD

What’s your favorite thing to watch on TV in the middle of the night? Right now it’s just Game of Thrones over and over.

What exactly do you do when you can’t fall asleep? Tylenol PM

So, when’s the last time you made out with someone? None of your beeswax

Will you ever kiss that same person again? I will kiss them often, every day and all the time forever and ever.

Why or why not? I don’t have to justify my shit to you.

Do you wish you were sleeping right now? Yes

What are you gonna do now that the survey is over? Listen to some Pat Benatar and fall asleep




  • Shannon

    Priceless. Simply priceless…..

  • Angie

    Trolli eggs. Trolli eggs. Trolli eggs.