My Celebrity Crushes: A Retrospective Part 2 – The 1980s

Read Part 1 – The 1970s

It’s time for part 2. Since the 1980s covers my crushes/ obsessions from age 6 – 16 the list is varied, bizarre and enormous, despite not being exhaustive, so I’ll just get started.

1. The Blues Brothers. I still get quivery thinking about Muppet Baby Dan Akroyd. Look at him. Along with Jaws and the Charlton Heston Ten Commandments, I’ve probably seen this movie more than any other. I can quote the entire thing from beginning to end.  I both loved them and wanted to be them.

2. Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder.

3. The entire cast of Silver Spoons. I was pretty sure I was going to grow up and marry Ricky Schroder, but now I’m kind of glad I didn’t.

4. Goldie Hawn. In general, but mostly in the movie Foul Play. Yes, I know that came out in 1978, but I didn’t become obsessed with it until the 80s… so… suck on that. Could she be cuter? I wanted to grow up and be her or…

5. Kathleen Turner AKA Joan Wilder in Romancing the Stone. I seriously thought that being a grown-up woman meant wearing high, loose buns, turtlenecks and puffy coats. I wanted to be Joan Wilder so much. I wanted her amazing apartment. I wanted to write romance novels and have meetings with my be-permed editor. I wanted everything, BUT the adventure in Columbia and the romance with Michael Douglas. If I had a therapist, I think just knowing this information would tell them everything they needed to know about me.

6. The gentlemen of The Love Boat. I was never much into Captain Stubing, but Gopher, Isaac and “Doc” … my love was true. Doc? Really. I can’t even explain it myself.

7. Alex P. Keaton/ Michael J. Fox. Look at him. He’s a tiny ball of adorability. He was born to make girls want to cuddle.

8. The show Double Trouble. For a long time I thought I may have dreamt this show, but, look the internet has pictures so it must have been real. I would kick someone super hard to be able to see this again. I’m sure it’s just as awesome as I remember.

9. Speaking of shows I thought I’d made up – Degrassi Jr. High was another obsession. Quite wonderfully, you can watch these and Degrassi High on Hulu.

10. Captain Kirk and Spock, circa Star Trek IV
star trek iv

11. Captain Picard and Data.

12. Simon & Simon. I went from loving A.J. and his dreamy blonde hair to loving Rick the most and then back again… and so on and so on.

13. Donnie Wahlberg was my true, true love. So tough. So misunderstood.

14. Flo from Alice. I’d say that 50% of my work persona is based on Flo. Kiss my grits.

15. The other 50% is all Violet from 9-5.


16. Michael Jackson. Before he was creepy.

17. The Goonies.

18. Rick Astley. “Rick rolling” still pisses me off. A much younger co-worker “rick rolled” me and I didn’t get it. I responded with. “Oh, I used to love him so much” and she was so confused. She couldn’t believe he was even real and when I explained that he was the Jason Mraz of the 80s, I thought her head might explode. Fuck you, young people. Rick Astley rules.

19. Which brings me to Tommy Page. He did not rule and in fact completely sucked, but I couldn’t see beyond his dreamy eyes and nasally warble. If anyone deserves “rolling” it’s this asshole.
tommy page 1

20. Xanadu. Period.

21. John Cusack. This crush would last until the invention of Twitter when I would learn that John Cusack seems barely sane. Reality is cruel.

22. Kiefer Sutherland.

23. Pretty in Pink. I mostly crushed on Ducky, but I wanted to be Annie Potts’ character, Fiona beyond words.
pretty in pink beforeurl-10

24. Anne of Green Gables. My love is true. My love is deep. My love is everlasting.

25. Jumpin’ Jack Flash is another example of what I expected adulthood to be like. You could actually add a pinch of Terry Doolittle to my work persona, now that I think about it. I learned so much from her, though I’ve never told my boss to stick anything up her “chocolate whiz way.”

  • This makes my heart swell!!