My Celebrity Crushes: A Retrospective Part 2 – The 1980s

Read Part 1 – The 1970s

It’s time for part 2. Since the 1980s covers my crushes/ obsessions from age 6 – 16 the list is varied, bizarre and enormous, despite not being exhaustive, so I’ll just get started.

1. The Blues Brothers. I still get quivery thinking about Muppet Baby Dan Akroyd. Look at him. Along with Jaws and the Charlton Heston Ten Commandments, I’ve probably seen this movie more than any other. I can quote the entire thing from beginning to end.  I both loved them and wanted to be them.
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2. Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder.
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3. The entire cast of Silver Spoons. I was pretty sure I was going to grow up and marry Ricky Schroder, but now I’m kind of glad I didn’t.
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4. Goldie Hawn. In general, but mostly in the movie Foul Play. Yes, I know that came out in 1978, but I didn’t become obsessed with it until the 80s… so… suck on that. Could she be cuter? I wanted to grow up and be her or…
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5. Kathleen Turner AKA Joan Wilder in Romancing the Stone. I seriously thought that being a grown-up woman meant wearing high, loose buns, turtlenecks and puffy coats. I wanted to be Joan Wilder so much. I wanted her amazing apartment. I wanted to write romance novels and have meetings with my be-permed editor. I wanted everything, BUT the adventure in Columbia and the romance with Michael Douglas. If I had a therapist, I think just knowing this information would tell them everything they needed to know about me.
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6. The gentlemen of The Love Boat. I was never much into Captain Stubing, but Gopher, Isaac and “Doc” … my love was true. Doc? Really. I can’t even explain it myself. kinopoisk.ru

7. Alex P. Keaton/ Michael J. Fox. Look at him. He’s a tiny ball of adorability. He was born to make girls want to cuddle.
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8. The show Double Trouble. For a long time I thought I may have dreamt this show, but, look the internet has pictures so it must have been real. I would kick someone super hard to be able to see this again. I’m sure it’s just as awesome as I remember.
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9. Speaking of shows I thought I’d made up – Degrassi Jr. High was another obsession. Quite wonderfully, you can watch these and Degrassi High on Hulu.
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10. Captain Kirk and Spock, circa Star Trek IV
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11. Captain Picard and Data.
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12. Simon & Simon. I went from loving A.J. and his dreamy blonde hair to loving Rick the most and then back again… and so on and so on.
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13. Donnie Wahlberg was my true, true love. So tough. So misunderstood.
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14. Flo from Alice. I’d say that 50% of my work persona is based on Flo. Kiss my grits.
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15. The other 50% is all Violet from 9-5.

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16. Michael Jackson. Before he was creepy.
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17. The Goonies.
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18. Rick Astley. “Rick rolling” still pisses me off. A much younger co-worker “rick rolled” me and I didn’t get it. I responded with. “Oh, I used to love him so much” and she was so confused. She couldn’t believe he was even real and when I explained that he was the Jason Mraz of the 80s, I thought her head might explode. Fuck you, young people. Rick Astley rules.
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19. Which brings me to Tommy Page. He did not rule and in fact completely sucked, but I couldn’t see beyond his dreamy eyes and nasally warble. If anyone deserves “rolling” it’s this asshole.
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20. Xanadu. Period.
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21. John Cusack. This crush would last until the invention of Twitter when I would learn that John Cusack seems barely sane. Reality is cruel.
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22. Kiefer Sutherland.
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23. Pretty in Pink. I mostly crushed on Ducky, but I wanted to be Annie Potts’ character, Fiona beyond words.
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24. Anne of Green Gables. My love is true. My love is deep. My love is everlasting.
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25. Jumpin’ Jack Flash is another example of what I expected adulthood to be like. You could actually add a pinch of Terry Doolittle to my work persona, now that I think about it. I learned so much from her, though I’ve never told my boss to stick anything up her “chocolate whiz way.”
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  • This makes my heart swell!!