Fat Bitch: Week 1

The ever-inspiring Rachele at The Nearsighted Owl is hosting a free, 52 week e-course/blog/vlog series entitled, How to be a Fat Bitch and I have decided to participate.

Now, some of you might think, why in the world would you want to be a “fat bitch?” and I would say first, why not? and second that I am called both “fat” and “bitch” on a semi-regular basis and taking this course, for me is about reclaiming those terms…again. Here is how Rachele describes it:

A fat bitch is confident, out-spoken and proud of who she is.

Yep. I’ve always been a confident-fat girl and honestly I can’t think of anything more annoying to the mainstream world than a fat girl who doesn’t hate herself. I’m like a unicorn.

No – just because I’m bigger I have not gone into hiding. I do not cover my body in shame-frocks or giant t-shirts. I dress how I want to dress; in bright, bold colors and short dresses and skirts. I even where stripes…horizontal stripes. Eat that, motherfuckers.

If you’re new to the idea of “health at every size,” let me say that embracing myself as a fat girl, does not mean I want to be unhealthy. I eat mostly home-cooked, organic, extremely well balanced meals. I can dance almost anyone under the table and I can walk an entire city. I can touch my toes, do the splits and shimmy my tits into next week if I want to. What I don’t want to do is hate myself for taking up slightly more space in the world.

This is also not about judging, hating-on or being jealous of thinner peeps. Their bodies are just as cute as mine, I think.

Alright, so blergh. Away we go.

Week #1 Assignment:

Write down 5 things that you are going to do that make you happy. Not “even though you are fat” but because you are fat and awesome. 5 things that have nothing to do with trying for the sake of others. 5 things for yourself and your well being. Like “go out dancing and actually dance”, “throw away my scale”, “make something yummy and bring it to work to share”, “join a yoga class” and “wear that tight leopard skirt”.  EXTRA CREDIT: Do some of them!

1. Dance every day. Just as Janey Glenn in Girls Just Want To Have Fun said, I love to dance. Whether it’s playing a dance game on the Wii or putting my head phones on and dancing around the house. I really, really love it and it’s a nice way to get the heart rate going.

2. Do a new character makeup photo shoot I love experimenting with the demented, less “pretty side” of makeup and creating characters by contorting my face and exaggerating my features. Think – Cindy Sherman. I haven’t done one of these in a while and I’d really like to get back into it.

3. Get a fancy pedicure. Honestly, this one really needs to happen. It’s been a few, wintery months of slogging around in snow boots.

4. Learn to use the music-making apps on my iPad. I’ve been really aching to make/ write music again and I’m really inspired by the idea of making poppy, dance songs. Smart, feminist, poppy dance songs. 

5. Learn to draw hands. I’m not the most amazing artist, but I’m passable at most everything except hands. They always look like deformed lobster tails and that makes me sad.


How do you deal with people that make assumptions about you based on being fat?

I’m usually a smart ass. This could very well be my answer for every question in the world, but it’s my coping technique. It makes me feel better and hopefully, they get it and feel a little bit embarrassed. I sort of like making people just a little uncomfortable, so if I’m honest I have to admit I look forward to these types of exchanges more than I should.

Is the best revenge to live well and be happy?

I think the best revenge is not giving a fuck. It really bugs the shit out of people when they don’t make an impact on you.

How do you feel about the concept of there being a “good fatty” and a “bad fatty” perceived in society?

I’m guessing the “good fatty” would be the self-hating, constantly dieting, overly-apologetic fatty. I think society is comfortable with that kind of person. They know how to categorize them. When “bad fatties” prance around, acting like they’re cute – it throws jerks off their game. I am and always strive to be a “bad fatty.”

  • Your blog and you are adorable! Your glasses! Why am I not following you?!? Anyway, all your things are kick ass. So happy to have you!

  • Tracy

    Ahh! Rachele, thank you! I’m fangirling a little. Come on over any time.

  • Reading this made me love you even more, if that’s possible. You are an amazing woman, and I count every one of my lucky stars that I get to be your friend!

    As for the hand drawing: I too have this problem!! For Christmas I asked for and received a hand model (the wooden kind, not a real person just standing around my house modeling their hands 24-7). I think we should have hand drawing camp.

    As for the dancing: you KNOW I feel you here. Olive and I have been playing dancing games everyday. It’s an awesome way to get moving, and a joyous one too. I feel like going to a gym and endlessly running on a machine is for sad people. I really do. But jumping around and shaking my belly to RuPaul? That feels like a fucking celebration.

    I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I know that whatever magical force that exists in the universe made us to be together and I thank pink sparkles (my name for the ever present Deity) for that every day.

  • Tracy

    Melissa – I LOVE YOU! I thank pink sparkles every day to have you as a BFF. You inspire me all the time.
    I may need to come over and stare at your hand model and then have a dance party. Actually I have to come over and stare at your hand model and have a dance party.

    AND we need to make dress forms. When are we doing this?
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo infinity!

  • Angie

    “We should be line DANCING.” But no seriously, why haven’t we gone dancing yet? We talk about it all the time and we never do it. I wanna do it!! I love you, I love you, I love youuuuuuuuuuuuu!

  • lateshoes

    WE SHOULD be line dancing. I know, dude. Why don’t we just do it? I wish that there were Leslie and the Lies dance parties somewhere here. I guess we could go to Ted Dancin’ …. but, anonymity appeals to me. Hmmph.

  • Shannon

    I’d like to add tha I love you, too.

  • lateshoes

    well, I love you back!