Lateshoes

*From the Ubuntu’d Eee PC*

A year and a half later, Lars and I have officially started another home improvement project.

The bathroom is at this very second being scraped, cleaned and prepped for the cutest, corally paint you ever did see.

Martha Stewart Peony Orange.

With Martha’s Scottish Shortbread for accents and the door.

I’m sitting outside of the bathroom like a d-bag with Lars’ miniature computer propped on top of the paint can. That’s what he gets for leaving me for the summer, right? I mean, can I get an Amen?

Right now there are only a few items up and really only one that I’m totally proud of, but look for more of my junk and Angie’s cute stuff very soon…and please keep us in mind for all your “cute bags” and “invites/announcements” needs.

Aaaaaannnnnd – the panic sets in.

In three weeks Lars leaves for India and I am officially freaking out.

There’s so much to do and be done. So much money to worry about and save. So much anxiety about how much and how often we’ll be able to communicate for two and a half months.

The Subaru’s $535 blow didn’t help matters – In fact, it’s exactly the catalyst that threw me into this state of distress.

What will I do if the power blows? Our fuse box is nestled precisely 6 ft above an open stairwell in the basement. I’ve never been able to reach it.

How will I reach all of the stuff on the tops of our kitchen shelves?

How will I fall asleep at night?

If I make inappropriate cracks at the television and Lars isn’t there to hear them – will they make a sound?

Who will leave their stupid socks and their stupid shoes all over the place, so I almost fall and break my neck every day?

Etc. Etc. Etc.

To say I knew what I was getting into when I said, “Totally – go for it! Apply! It would be such a great experience” would be a lie – I still don’t know what I’ve gotten into. But, who would I be if I held back the person I love?

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Fuck a duck.

Have fun reading weird/ semi-depressing posts for the next three months.

$535 to get the Bruiser fixed up. Goodbye to over half of our savings and hello to me eating Meow Mix while Lars is in India. When Lars called to say it was going to cost $450, I was like – ehhh – that sucks, but for some reason the final total (probably because it’s like officially more than half of our total “nest egg”) just gutted my guts.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/scott/internet-1969

“Little Slider Cupcakes”

So, about 5 minutes after I finished that last post – these two youngish gentlemen sidled up and sat down next to me outside and proceeded to have the loudest, most bizarre conversation ever.

I think, in fact that I’ve discovered the next “hipster grifter.”

First of all, I’m not in the habit of recording people’s private conversations, but this kid’s voice was not to be believed and I wanted proof to back up the impression that I will be doing of him for like ever.

But, if you listen carefully, you’ll hear “dude A” totally try to grift his friend out of 3300 bucks. Supposedly his dad’s friend, the “accountant” just didn’t mail in his taxes last year…and when he brought this supposed fact up to his dad, his dad said, “Whoa, that sucks, dude.”

Anyway – he’s trying to get his buddy to lend him the money (by tomorrow) because the IRS wants it like “right now.” He wants his friend to take his “sweet bike” as collateral….and his friend can check the Blue Book value, but he should know that the Blue Book lies.

Uh huh.

Anyway – even if you don’t care to listen to the weird shit this kid is spinning, you MUST hear him spew. It’s wonderful.