Lateshoes

One of the 9,000 movies I watched during my vacation last week was a little Rom-Com called Definitely Maybe.
As the credits rolled, down came a song so aggressively terrible, I’ve been obsessed with it ever since.
The music itself is palatable enough – but, the lyrics (and I’ve used this metaphor before) are like having someone shove poop back into your butt. I mean really – did he use refrigerator magnets to write this crap?
Maybe this guy is a genius and I’m just too stupid to “get it,” but really I ask you to see/ hear for yourself.
I welcome your feedback.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fb5T0gcHZBg]

Oh, sweet morning
Is your head not right
Did you heed my warning
This is the time of times

And your head feels like your body
You mind is close behind
There’s a teardrop on your shoulder
Says this is the time of times
It’s the time of times again

This is the time of times
It’s the time of times again

Oh, sweet morning
And your head’s not right
Did you heed my warning
This is the time of times

And your head feels like your body
Your mind is close behind
There’s a teardrop on your shoulder
Says this is the time of times
It’s the time of times again

The time of times
Yeah this is the time of times

Wtf?
One last note – he clearly thinks these lyrics are brilliant enough to repeat all the way through a second time.

Is it me?

Me at work:

Me at home:
Personally I prefer me with fuzzy Harry Potter slippers.

“Paint the bathroom.” Hahahahahahahaha. 

I’m so hilarious. 

It’s 10:10 p.m. on my last night of vacation and I’m in complete and total denial that I’ll be getting up to the 7:30 a.m. alarm in the morning. 

I know I’m only working 2, maybe three days this week, but it’s 2 or 3 too many for my taste. Don’t they understand that I’ve got online karaoke to play and bad movies to watch? 

Sigh. 

Okay. Going to brush my teeth now. I’m letting the dream die harder: with a vengeance.

Watch his videos and laugh and fall in love.

Because some completely unrelated piece on my “display” was defective – Apple had to replace the whole thing!! For free. 

I honestly don’t know what to do with the place the dent occupied in my soul.  It’s been three days since I got him back from Macdocs and I just summoned the will tonight to take off it’s turquoise, plastic armor and really appreciate it. 

I had to photograph it, of course. 

Relive my pain – The Original Dent Story.

All I can say is if you get a check in the mail, addressed to someone else. Make sure that check gets to its proper owner. Karma is real. 

15 minutes from now I will be officially one day away from a (hard earned) week off from work.

Not that I’m counting down or anything.

Here’s a small list of the things I plan to do:

1. finish Christmas prizes.

2. sleep

3. watch about 700 movies/ tv shows (some on the tv, some on my laptop, while still in bed, in pajamas, probably drooling)

4. cook things and eat them

5. play with dogs

6. sleep some more

7. paint the bathroom (lofty, I know, but I’m a crazy dreamer)

8. catch up on gossipy blogs

9. finish Satanic Verses….finally

10. did I say sleep, yet?

Oh fertility, you terrible and cruel little bitch. How you make me laugh and sigh and spit obscenities like Andrew Dice Clay.

Cycle 5 of “trying” and I’m “trying” not to seduce Britney Spears with a Bear Claw and Cheetos for the sole purpose of punching her overly-fertile womb in its nuts.

No really. I’m having fun. I’m looking forward to  medieval torture devises being rammed up my cooter so doctors can take pictures and “judge” my fallopian tubes like they’re on Dancing With the Stars.  That sounds peachy. Hijinxy, even.

Sigh. I mean, “Yay!”

The Turtle blew a “rod” and I don’t know what that is – I only know it means that we’d have to buy a whole, new engine and that would cost a whole lot of money.

I’m sad. The Turtle was given to us by our wonderful friend, Dan – when we really needed it and it’s been a trooper for us almost every day since.

Letting go is bittersweet and so I dedicate this song to The Turtle.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_GBnk45IYY]

Mary – The Dutchess & The Duke