Lateshoes

Though some would argue, having enormous jugs can be a bit of a burden. Yes, there’s the back pain, and unwanted ogling from creepy, old dudes – but, the only real and true drawback is the availability (at least in the US) of bras that actually fit.

Even though Oprah taught America that most women are wearing the wrong size bra, (wearing the band-size too large and the cups too small) the American lingerie industry still insists that we’re all somewhere between and 28A and a 55DD. For years I wore a 42DD…and for years I was uncomfortable. You can’t imagine what it was like the day I finally figured out I was actually a 38G. 

You heard me – 38G. I know, that sounds ridonkulously giganimous. But, guess, what – it isn’t. I mean, it’s substantial, but, you couldn’t sell tickets to see my tits in a side show or anything. But, America, being the shame culture it is, would have me remain in my uncomfortable 42DD, because who wants to make a fat, old stanky G-cup bra? Especially since they have to spend all their energies padding tinier bras, so tiny boobies can feel bad about themselves too. Ah, the insanity of “industry.”

I have to buy my bras online, from England, where apparently it’s okay to have fancy knockers. Not only do their bras fit me, but they’re gorgeous. No more granny-tank bras, for me, thanks. 

The only real drawback is the price. The exchange rate (as you may know) isn’t the best right now, so one of my standard favorites is around $80!!!!! For ONE BRA! 

Because I’m thrifty, I usually make them last as long as I can, but recently decided to search for a more reasonably priced over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. I was extremely happy (so happy I’m blogging about it) to find 2 different bras by Elomi (yes, they’re European!) that fit the bill…and were only priced around $40. 

They arrived yesterday and I could NOT be happier with them. You can’t imagine what wearing the right bra, in the right size, with a pretty design can do for a girl’s self-image. 

My momma’s survey answers (for my answers go here).

1.  WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE	Yes – Bubbles Darlene (she was a stripper in a newspaper my mom was looking at while in the hospital)
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?	Last week
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING	No
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?	Smoked turkey breast
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?	three
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?	Yes
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A Lot?	On occasion
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS	No
9.   WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?	Yes!!!! Bruce & I were just talking about that
10.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?	Special K with strawberries
11.  DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?	No
12.  DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?	A tad
13.  WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?	Chunky Monkey
14.  WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?	Eyes
15.  RED OR PINK?	Red
16.  WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?	My sagging butt
17.  WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?	My daddy
18.  DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?	All
19.  WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?	Not wearing pants; shoes are black
20.  WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?	Southbeach Diet pizza
21.  WHAT ARE YOU listening to RIGHT NOW?	the phones ringing all around me
22.  IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?	purple
23.  FAVORITE SMELLS?	after it rains
24.  WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?	Katie
25.  DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?	Yes bunches, I miss her
26.  FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?	gymnastics
27. Hair colour  -	dark brown
28.  EYE COLOR?	brown/green
29.  DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?	Yes
30  FAVORITE FOOD?	Anything from the Square Grouper in Big Pine Key – Yummy
31.  SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?	scary movies
32.  LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?	Finding Nemo
33.  WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU  WEARING?	Navy with white flowers
34.  SUMMER OR WINTER?	Summer
35.  HUGS OR KISSES?	kisses
36.  FAVORITE DESSERT?	Katies German choc cake
37.  MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?	not sure
38. Least likely to respond?	??
39.  WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?	Prey
40.  WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?	Don’t have one
41.  WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?	crazy cartoons
42.  FAVORITE SOUND?	Laughter
43.  ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?	Beatles
44.  WHAT IS THE  FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?	Iran
45.  DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?	You’ll have to ask my friends
46.  WHERE WERE YOU BORN?	Coral Gables
47.  WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?	Everyone’s

I’ll admit it – I’m bummed. It’s not really the end of the world, but with Lars’ illness last year (and run o’ the mill stupidness) we racked up some substantial debt that I hoped to pay off by refinancing our house (yes, again!) We started the process a few weeks ago and to say I’ve been stressed is an understatement.

So today, they finally called to tell me that our loan would not being going through. The reason: our appraisal. When we refinanced a year and a half ago our house appraised at $184,000 – this year, after thousands of dollars and many hours of sweat and the cliche tears remodeling the front half of the house – $147,000. Our house has (I can barely stand to type it) depreciated flipping 40 grand!!!!

I was completely speechless on the phone. Quickenloans-Colleen just kept yapping at me about “comparables” and how people on our street have been, “giving their homes away.” One house that’s pretty close to ours sold for $144,000 and another right down the street that’s a bit smaller for $105! That’s less than we paid for our craphole 3 years ago. 

I can’t believe it’s really gotten that bad. When I first talked to Quickenloans-Colleen, she was surprised that houses in our zip code hadn’t really gone down that much… and all but assured me that it would at least appraise for the same amount as last time. 

I’ve been in a depressive state, staring at my computer, drooling and growing zits since 4 o’clock when she called me. 

Oh and listening to this:

heroes-(david-bowie-cover) – Magnetic Fields 

and this: What Light – Wilco

Over and over and over and over. 

Part of me wants to punch someone – someone that looks like George Bush. The other part of me feels too weak from ennui to even be bothered. 

BUT, I’m an ass-kicker, I don’t roll over for anybody – not some 9ft tall, bitch-appraiser, not Quickenloans, not Bank of America, not Capital One, not the Tesoro station, and certainly not the rich-male-white-corporate oppression of our current administration.  

I mean, really let’s be clear – gas costs $4.20 and my house is worth shit – but, our economy’s great, right? I hate to repeat myself, but fuck you, George Bush. Fuck you hard and deep, right in the ass. 

To that end – (and earlier when I was in a better mood) I created my own fundraising goal for Barack Obama. If you’ve got 5 bucks or more to spare, please click the donating link in my sidebar. I’ll love you forever and ever. 

We saw Girls Rock! tonight. I’ll talk about it tomorrow, because I’m too tired – but, here enjoy some video evidence of why it ruled.

And also a full length download of Palace’s “San Francisco Sucks Sometimes.” 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_5q9c5YXTo]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjdPmJs9PiQ]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql_sSvpcT6k]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmTQHkvV3bQ]

San Francisco Sucks Sometimes – by Palace

Earworms

I know I’m a sucker for reality tv, but I’ll be real with you now – I’ve never seen one like this. Check it: a reality show where women aren’t competing over Bret Michael’s knob or Flava’ Flav’s (*shiver*) “flavor of love.” These ladies are smart – they’re talented, they are bad ass and they’re fighting for M.C. credibility.

Seriously, when was the last time you watched a reality show in which women talked about the validity of their metaphors?

I love this show like a person and I would by any album that Miss Cherry, Rece Steele, Byata, Nikki-2-States, and Lady Twist put out. For reals ya’ll.

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=4XzE1nFDUOI]

Just because I spent something like 5 straight hours meddling with the CSS of the least pliable blog template ever, doesn’t mean I’m crazy. Er.

I think I actually (in complete 2 am desperation) added 4400 pixels of padding somewhere. In my line of work we call that INSANE – but, it couldn’t be helped there was some stoopid, random border image that was nowhere to be found and the only way to hide it was to push the padding down, well 4000 pixels or so. I’m going to mess with it, I guess, which brings me to this post’s title.

How much do you want to bet, I mess with this template about 10 more times before I’m even moderately satisfied?

Sigh. So tired.

I leave you with a fantastic song to download, because I feel incredibly sorry for the .5 people who may have stumbled upon this site while I was fiddling.

Another Fight (Theoretical Girl Cover)-Lightspeed Champion

1. My car is dead. Again. As the internet would say: wtf?

2. My flippin’ car is dead. Again. Did I mention?

3. I consistently missed opportunities to hang out with my sweet friends because my non-sweet cell phone was being a shitball.

4. I tried to write a song and failed – miserably.

5. I rode my bike everywhere, but I’m still fat.

6. I have to get up 2 hours early tomorrow.

7. I’m going to have to “bus it” to my dentist appointment during my lunch hour tomorrow.

8. Oh yeah, I’ve got a dentist appointment.

9. Battlestar Galactica is on a million year hiatus and I’m all, “Holy balls!”

10. I’ve been listening to this Emmy the Great song on repeat for the past 2 hours.

Canopies and Grapes

So, Tawnya and I rode our bikes up to work today. Okay – we let TRAX do the hardest part, but still. We were modern, urban sophisticates. We were “commuters” and best of all we weren’t using any $4-a-gallon gasoline.

Suck on that, oil companies. I know that most of America is just putting your gas hike on their credit cards, but not me. I’ve reached my limit. I’m hoping others have too. I know it’s not possible to ride my bike everywhere, but, I definitely plan to ride it whenever I can.

P.S. Hills are hard.

P.P.S. Riding your bike makes you mega hungry.

Law & Order SVU is trying to make with throw up. Beaver from Veronica Mars is accusing Sabrina the wonky-eyed witch of seducing him.

Nasty. Why do I watch this show?