Embracing the Dent
You may or may not know by now that I’m completely crazy – and if this is news to you then sit down my friend and let me explain. About 90 (or so) percent of the time I’m decently capable of keeping my “shit” together – but, the other 10 percent? Flippin’ nuts.
One of my more, let’s call them quirky personality ticks is something called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Though I’ve never been properly diagnosed, there is no denying it. Everything in my world has its place – its place according to me. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense to you that that book looks fine there – if it doesn’t make sense to me- my brain completely rejects it and I won’t stop thinking about it – I won’t rest until that book is EXACTLY where I need it to be. Sigh.
So, this morning when I took my laptop out of its case to find a nice (okay small) DENT on the lid – my motherfuckin’ crazy level shot up to eleven.
In the middle of the night last night, I woke up to find Io sitting on top of my computer (inside its case) so, I shewed her off and she jumped with all of her fatassitude off and onto the ground – leaving behind a small-ish, but very noticeable dent in my three week old laptop.
When I first noticed it, I immediately broke into a sweat, feverishly looking for some easy fix to my dilemma. Surely, it can’t be that hard. I mean something that can happen so easily to such a costly machine has to be just as easy to fix, right? You would think. But, no. Dent pullers won’t do the trick, you can try removing the lid but you run the risk of destroying your display – you can’t just replace the lid because it’s actually fused with an epoxy to the LED components (or something – I have no idea), so unless you want to replace the whole shebang (a whopping 800 bucks) you are out of luck. More sweating.
I don’t think I heard a word anyone said to me all day. The stupid dent was all. I. could. think. about. Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeent. There’s a dent. My beautiful, my precious….was… blemished, marred, scarred, bruised and forever marked like the girl who gets knocked up in Junior High.
How could Apple be so careless, I thought. Didn’t they know this would happen? Why didn’t they make me get one of those hard cases? Why didn’t they tell me I should sell my cat?
After many hours of unsuccessfully trying to massage, pull, clean and wish the dent away – I finally gave up, resigned to the fact that I would forever (or at least for a long while) be attached to this imperfect, banged up crackbook. I would have to answer questions.
“Oh, how did THAT happen?”
I would worry that if I ever have any hardware problems in the future, Apple would no doubt point to the scar and say, “Oh! No way, lady – it looks like you’ve played baseball with this.”
Ugh.
This little dent (pictures forthcoming – when I can bare it) had broken my heart and I was as obsessed as I’ve even been with any boy or band or film. I kept searching the internet and making frantic phone calls well after I understood it was useless.
I even prayed. I prayed for a cosmetic dent on my laptop! It was more a prayer for myself in the end, but still.
How could something so small destroy my entire universe for hours? Why do things like this get so far under my skin? I mean, other people would be mildly annoyed, realize it’s something that’s bound to happen and then get over it. Of course “other people” also watch According to Jim, so what do they know?
It took 6 hours and three episodes of The Wire for me to pull the damn thing out and type on it. But, now that I am, I realize that what I love about this computer isn’t just its beauty and design, it’s this. I get to type and tell my story. I get to read the stories of my friends and I get to connect with people I love. Okay, don’t tell anyone I said that.
Just as a sidenote though, while I’m like coming to terms and all – Steve Jobs, if you ever want to hook an OCD sister up with a new lid that would be really cool, right? Ya feel me?
Not that I’m still obsessing.
What?
Update: Pictures of the stupid dent!
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When I was a young man and an active comic-collecting nerd, I organized my 2,000 comics in alphabetical order and then ordered each title numerically.
Nowadays, my OCDness manifests itself when it comes to getting certain things done — things that seem wildly important to me but could actually probably wait.
Medication and therapy have actually gone a long way in making me a little less obsessive than I used to be.
As you well know, I am fond of obsessing about things. Right now I am obsessing about my new house and how many things I need to do to it before I will feel like it’s totally “mine”. I am coping with this by spending as little time as possible in my house. I’m also watching a lot of Doctor Who. So, like, avoidance is working pretty well for me these days.
Hi There,
This totally talks to me, infact with a very recent event. I recently got a couple of nice LCD monitors, I also have an array of cats, who on the most part are adorable. However, as much as I adore them, one has put me into a similar quandary as yourself. Morry (Moriarty) dribbles, it used to be when he was happy, now his innings is nearly up, he just dribbles. He also loves to get rid of his dribble and share it with EVERYONE and EVERYTHING around him, he shakes his head, thus showering the surrounding area in feline saliva, again its disgusting but it doesn’t harm, right? Wrong, turns out cat saliva seems to mark or stain LCD coatings, although the LCD is now clean theres a mark in the perfect shape of the dribble formation on my screen, it can only be seen when the light catches on it, or on a complete white screen. Right now I cannot see it, but im still brewing, cursing the cat. So in a roundabout way I wanted to say, you are not alone.
James
PS, If your cat dribbles on your mac book screen, I suggest wiping it off sooner rather than later for fear of another epidemic.
Typing this on a newly-dented macbook pro. Thank you for documenting my anxiety so I don’t have to – I think you stole half my brain and have been passing it off as your own. Tell me, does it get any easier? (to live with the dent?)
Oh Joey – I’m so sorry.
I can say that it gets better, but that stupid dent will sting every time it catches your eye.
I ended up getting a Turquoise Speck case and it covers it pretty nicely and protects it for ever experiences such a horror again.
I think we may need to start a support group.