Lateshoes

In a sad, but heartwarming effort to get over the fact that FOX network douchebags forced DailyMotion.com to remove streaming episodes of 24 from their site… I’m so close to being done with 3rd season, a-holes!!….where was I? Oh yeah, in an effort to get over that soul-crushing disruption I’ve decided to talk about make-up and how at 32, I have finally gone over to the “other side.” The “other-side” of course being things named; “Age-Rewind,” “Age-Defying,” “Anti-Aging.”
I have given into the fact that the skin around my eyes is starting to crease and dry out a bit. Yes, enough to move over to the, “holy fuck, I’m aging” section of the make-up aisle.

So, now I’m on a quest to find the Holy Grail or “HG” as it’s called on the Internet of foundation/concealer that won’t over-goo my still oily forehead, but will smooth out the dry patches around my mouth and eyes. I want something natural and light, with illuminating factors that are pearly without being sparkly or glittery…and I want it now. Oh, also, I’m attempting to make the move back to only using cruelty-free cosmetics, so they can’t hurt bunnies either.

Because I’m poor-ish so, that does limit my playing field, but to be fair, I’ve already tried two of the non-animal friendly brands (which I’ll review in a second) so, yeah…I’ve got Almay and Revlon yet to go in the drugstore. If those don’t make the cut then I’ll move onto the department store/Sephora set. Sigh….Sephora…otherwise known as heaven for make-up-sluts such as myself. Hmmm… Make-up-Slut…I’m seeing a whole new blog here.

So without further babble….my reviews:

Maybelline – Age Rewind Concealer
This concealer was on sale for 2 bucks, so wtf? It’s pretty good. It’s light, creamy, feels pleasant enough and gives great coverage on my REALLY DARK undereye circles…. at first. See, the great effects don’t last very long and I find myself re-applying twice before the end of the day. As coverage fades, it also gets dry and a bit powder-cakey…which, I find totally gaytronic. If I only needed under-eye concealment for two hours a day, this stuff would be the shit.
$2 -$5 I bought it in LIGHT

Maybelline – Age Rewind Liquid Foundation
Hmm. At first I thought it was going to be too thick, but it actually went on quite nicely and instantly added a bit of luminosity to my very cranky, morning face. I found that even though I got the second lightest color, it was a bit too dark for my complexion so I had to blend the fuck out of it to avoid having a “Kelly.” (Kelly was my friend in highschool who always had a line on her chin where her foundation ended) Anyway, overall I like this foundation okay, I didn’t use too much, but I do feel it’s a bit oily…and like I said, it was way too dark to call itself “Classic Ivory.”
$7 I bought CLASSIC IVORY

Loreal – True Match Concealer
This is not a concealer for the aged, but it has been my staple for the past year or so. It’s great for covering breakouts, but you have to use a lot because the liquid is really sheer and the bottle is really small, so I tend to run out every couple of weeks or so. This is not ideal. If I weren’t trying to go back to using only cruelty-free make-up, I would probably still use this for covering “spots” as they say in Brittania.
$5 Neutral-1-2

Loreal – True Match Foundation
I like this foundation for it’s natural-o-city and color matchiness to my skin…but, it tends to dry out around my eyes and mouth.
It also has a tendency to bulk up and make me look slightly corpse-like. Overall it’s okay and I’ve used it for a long time, happily enough, but it’s not worth stabbing bunny eyes for.
$7 Neutral -1

Photo 23
Originally uploaded by lateshoes.

Dear Bitchy Cat,

I never thought I’d meet a bitchier cat than your sister Io, but then you came along and taught me what it was like to truly rule the bitchiverse. I love you and all your bitchy-cat ways.
Happy Birthday, pretty girl.

love,
Mom

Photo 47
Originally uploaded by lateshoes.

I had a dream last night where I was forced to work at some mega-grocery store (no doubt leftover bristly feelings from yesterday’s grocery shopping experience), but I also had to live there. Anyway, they wouldn’t let my dogs come inside the store to sleep, so I had to leave them in the car, but it was sooooo cold I was afraid they were going to die. I woke up and hugged them and covered them with blankets…they thought I was nuts.

A couple of things:
One, someone has definitely put the evil-eye on Lars. He is having the worst month in the world. First, about a month ago he got this evil cold/flu thing after we went bowling. What started as a mild hurty throat turned into full-blown viral ick. About two weeks into his black death he had three of his impacted wisdom teeth removed. The mega combo of Bubonic Plague and fucked up mouth only made both problems worse. His gums got infected, more painful and though I never looked, I’m told more disgusting. Meanwhile, his mild cough became a full on muco-placia fest. Bleh. THEN… after two weeks of not healing, despite consuming the motherload of antibiotics… he got some sort of stomach bug. Puking and moaning ensued. By Friday morning he was feeling better, but decided to take the day off of work just to recoup. At about 11:30am I get a phone call at work.
“Guess where I am.”
“No, where?”
“The emergency room.”
“Are you fucking with me?”
“No.”
He had started doing our dishes and nearly sliced off the tip of his pinkie on our chef’s knife. He ended up with 7 stitches and confirmation that God officially hates him.
I haven’t even mentioned all the dishes he’s accidentally dropped and broken or the car accident we almost got into, but was completely not his fault.

All of this brings me to my current gripe…have I ever mentioned how much I hate doing dishes? Well, it’s phenomenal… it’s Guinness….it’s epic. And now, due to my injured, albeit adorable husband I’m stuck doing dishes for god knows how long. I honestly don’t know if I’m going to make it. My hands are pruned and it actually hurts slightly to type. I feel violated.

She looks like my winking Western Barbie, after I busted out her winking eye lid and fed it to the dog.
I think at this point I’d honestly rather see pictures of her Picasso-esque moose-knuckle.

I have to say that our president is acting like a complete disgrace. “I won’t be rushed.” That’s what he says while soldiers are dying in Iraq? Fucking petulant child.