Dane Cook needs to get the fuck away from me.

Why am I suddenly seeing this (to quote my friend Clayton) “Asspock” everywhere all of the sudden?
Why is he in my fucking face every 15 seconds? Why did he have an HBO series? Why is he the lead in a movie? Who is this fuck?
He’s no Ryan Reynolds, is all I’m saying.
He’s NOT funny. He’s NOT clever. He’s not even cute, so what the hell?
This is exactly like the rise of 50 Cent. No one ever heard of that clown until Mtv shoved him in our faces with “specials” and “interviews” like non-stop. How does one with so little talent get so much pre-fame publicity? How does it work? I really want to know.
Now there are a million of these “rappers” and I used quotes because yelling, “HUH?…WHAT!!?” does not constitute rapping in my book…but, as I was saying there are a million of these cunts running around Mtv acting like we should know who they are. “Chicken Noodle Soup…Chicken Noodle Soup….Chicken Noodle Soup with a soda on the siiiide.” You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
Back to Dane Cook…Who’s dick did he chow? Or…did he use the “Most popular girl” spell from Teen Witch? My mind wants to know…and then wants to banish his talentless ass back to obscurity.










