Lateshoes

So, me and Angie and Tawnya went skating at the park last night. Tawnya took pictures…they’ll have to wait until next week because she hasn’t uploaded them yet, but I can tell you that there’s one where I look like I’m doing the robot, which only makes me wish I really were doing the robot, but I wasn’t. I was doing the, “Oh please God, don’t let me bust my knee caps, bird arms.” Hilarious.
It was so. much. fun.
This weekend I’m planning to resume the great Roller Skating movie marathon of 2006 with Roller Boogie, Rollerball (the original 1975), and Kansas City Bomber.

For most things, Craigslist is awesome. Tawnya just found like the raddest apartment in SLC there…and I’ve found things that if I had any money at all…I definitely would have gotten.
BUT
The personals! Holy. Moly.
Admitedly, I’m a personals junky, but this might actually break the habit. Check this shit.
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We are a married couple looking for a first time experience for my wife.. both 50 she looks 40 and is hot..
I have ED so she is always going without and horny..
We would like a 6 foot or so 35 to 40 year old well hung curcumsied stud..
Disease free.Clean, in shape and a guy who likes oral..
We can hook up party a while and see..
The wife is hot looking, a little overweight but her full figure makes a lot of dicks hard.
If you are interested send an email to us..
Send a pic if you can.

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Married man, Bi, likes to play around with guys on the side. 42
5’10″ 170 brn hair green eyes. Like hairy to medium hairy guys.
Mutual JO, feeling, fondling, oral, tickling balls with my tongue,
showers Together and much further I do like to be a top
(really love to see a guy in Jock strap)

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looking for a woman with a pee fetish. Want someone willing to pee on me and be peed on. Your pic gets mine.

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You are a cute, fit, white college girl who fantasizes about having a hot sexual affair with an older, educated, handsome, sexy professional married man.

I am a handsome, fit, highly-educated, professional, married man who fantasizes about having hot, satisfying sessions with a cute, fit, white college girl. I’ve also have a very generous side to me.

If this sounds intriguing to you, please email me so we can see if we are a match. I have pics to share, and I don’t think you will be disappointed. Waiting to hear from you…

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Dad/Daughter Role Play (18 or older only) -m4w – 42 (this one is so grody, I’m posting it as a link)

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greetings and thank you for reading this
I’ve had a craving, this desire to suckle from a lactating lady for some time now.
Could you, would you please fulfill this desire?
I’d like to drink one or two breastfuls from you. That would be all. No other contact is required.
And I’d like you to be over 30 years old, but this isnt a must.

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This may seem crazy, but tomorrow is our anniversary, and I’m debating suprising him with a 2nd girl. I know he fantasizes about it… must be very petite,must be clean, disease free, mature and between 20-25 and willing to play with wife. NO alone time will be given. Meet for diner and see how it goes. Please send pics (tasteful) and why he deserves you. Return pics will be delivered apon receipt of approved girls. Hell, why limit it to one!

This offer is for tomorrow only.
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Im looking for a girl who let’s it all out, under her arms. I want there to be a bush under each arm, a pit-o-pleanty hair!

I want to nuzzle my face under your arm. I want you to put your arm down and let me fuck your pit, put my hardon under your arm and hump it.
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Um… sometimes I think “wtf?” is the most appropriate internet lingo ever invented. WTF?, indeed.

For those of you who don’t know how boring my job is, I won’t bore you with describing it…just know that the words “fiscal year” are involved and…hey! WAKE UP!… Anyway, yeah so the end of the fiscal year doth approach and that means that Tracys have to do workies like a big girl. Look, I’m not happy about it either, but I should have something really cool to say next week and most likely some really hilarious pictures of me attempting to roller skate after a 16 year hiatus. My skates and some happy red wheels from RollerGirl should be arriving on Tuesday and to say I’m excited would be a gross understatement.
Chubby Bunny is playing a show tonight in Provo (so if you’re in the U.C. you should come) and then tomorrow I’m going to Bear Lake with my home girls, which means the copious amount of weed pulling that needs to take place in my front yard is just going to have to wait. Fuck you, weeds! I’m going to the beach.

My latest New West article is probably the most boring thing I’ve ever written, but it’s stirring up some bible hurling down in the message area.
Word.

So, I finally ordered some roller skates today. As Tom Cruise would say, “Much love” to Tawnya, who took tremendous pity on my poorness and got me a gift card…Woot! Tawnya! It took me forever to decide which ones I would get. The pair I really want are RIDICULOUSLY expensive. The Riedell 122′s! They’re like $180…and like, I haven’t skated in about 16 years, so I really shouldn’t be spending 200 bucks on skates when I’m not even totally sure I can still balance my lard ass on them.
So, the Pacer f-14′s it is. I did a TON of research online and found that these babies are great for outdoor skating, which is mostly what I’ll be doing, though I’ve vowed to wear them at work everyday until I get my skate-legs back. Rolling around on flat carpet is always good practice. Anyway, they’re supposedly built really well, so they should last a good while. The only drawback is they don’t have, well any ankle support and if you don’t know already, I have a whack ankle that I sprained twice and now looks like one of Hillary Clinton’s ankles….it’s kind of a cankle, even. Sigh. They have wider wheels than the “boot” pair I was looking at, so I should be fine…they’ll be a lot easier to balance on.
So, yeah…that’s pretty much what I did all day. I looked at two pairs of affordable roller skates and then stared lustfully at the unaffordable pair.
I’m honestly looking forward to the wheels on these wearing out so I can get some wicked cute, colorful ones.
I just realized something….I’m a huge nerd.

Whether you’re still in denial that global warming is real or you believe it, but haven’t really thought about what it’s going to mean for our planet in the very near future…you should see this film.

And also, I would like to start a petition to beg Al Gore…the Al Gore that we have now; confident, brazen and real…to run for president in 2008 and give us the world we should have had 6 years ago.

To see more haircuts, more Turtle and Io sitting in a tree…go here.

Tinks?….Bit-Bit? Where are you?
I realize that Britney pooped out that kid and she only has two arms, but whatever happened to her “beloved” chihuahua, Bit-Bit? And Paris Hilton has been extra busy being ugly, slutty and worthless these days, but, doesn’t she care at all for little Tinkerbell?… and what about the even smaller one she got to replace Tinks when she bumped up over the 5 lb. mark?
If ever a trend among the vapid-whore set pissed me off more, I just don’t know. Buy a dog for fucking fashion and carry it around, hoping that if people are looking at your cute little, under-exercised ball of canine neurosis, maybe they won’t see how dead your eyes are.
But, little dogs are so 2003, so they were probably skinned and turned into to some kind of Chihuahua-leather bikini for Paris and maybe a new pube beard was made out of Bit-Bit for Mr. Britney’s chin.
Bitches.

First of all, I really think you need to fire the assistant who didn’t make it clear to you that Matt Lauer would be interviewing you ON CAMERA. Then, I would make post haste with the “letting go” of your make up person, hair “do-er” and clothes picker-out-er. I realize that providing jobs for the legally blind and hairbrush challenged is only one of your many charitable contributions to society, but for the love of god…the eyeliner, Brit…the EYELINER!
You look like you’ve just rolled out of bed, post-Manny tumble…which, if you have…”you go girl!”
Anyway B, I wish you, Sean Puffy and that pube-bearded husband of yours only the best.
Yours truly,
Tracy

I would still love you.
That’s what Michael Fraker said to me in 1990. He called me once to play the Depeche Mode song, “Somebody” in my ear. I’m not sure if he meant for the “I hope you fucking die” sentiment part at the end of the song for me, or if he never really paid attention to the final lyrics. Either way…
I’ve been really wishing I hadn’t ditched all of my “Depeche Commode” tapes in my great tape purge of 1998. There are just days when you really need to hear “Master and Servant,” ya know?