Lateshoes

I want to show you a picture of my new (old) car, but I can’t because my camera is full of pictures and I haven’t made a disc of them yet and I’m already bummed that I deleted some pictures that I thought I had on disc, but really didn’t…Including the cutest picture I took of Chloe on my trip to Florida. Lame!! So, you will just have to imagine a cute, little rollerskate of a 1987 Honda civic parked all adorable-like in front of our house. His name is “the Turtle.”
Having a car has been awesome. We can get groceries on demand instead of hoarding a month’s worth of food anytime we happened to mooch a ride to the store with one of our friends. We’ve been carpooling to work in the morning, which means that I actually get here a half an hour early (and therefore before my boss, which for whatever reason gives me a strange sense of superiority…don’t tell).
So, I have to publicly thank Tawnya’s brother Dan and his wife, Paula for giving us the gift of transportation. It has been so, so very long.

I want the universe to eat shit and die right now. Maybe I picked the wrong time to re-read The Catcher in the rye and The SCUM manifesto.

OLBERMANN WATCH…. I got name-checked and it’s cracking me up. I’ve never been called a “libnut” before, but I’m starting to like it. Mr. RCox (I could really make an immature joke there) will however have to stand in line behind my grandmother if he wants to talk to me about my use of profanity to express myself.

And I don’t mean that in some sort of philosophical, “Man, I’m an ice princess” sort of way. I mean it very literally. The library, my office, my desk is clocking in at a cool 45 degrees right now. Construction brings with it all sorts of tiny quirks that make it almost impossible for me to concentrate on my actual job and the sizable amount of work I have to finish by the end of June. The good and bad news is that our department is moving out of the building for the remainder of the project. Good because if I have to spend one more day feeling like a slab of cow hanging in a meat locker, I might go completely insane…and bad because the “moving” will be taking place next week, meaning that we’ll lose an entire week’s worth of time to get our job done. I wasn’t worried before when I thought that I could plow through a gozillion orders this week, no problem…but now…with the blue fingers and the freezing neck, I’m not so sure.
Luckily, they pay me somewhere right above poverty level…so I feel totally appreciated.

I finally found Laura Lee’s mug-shot posted on some “conservative” douchebag’s blog who wished he had a “Stupid Activist tricks” section to put her story in. Yuck. Yuck. Look motherfucker…my sis-in-law is a grifter and a con-artist, okay…if you’re going to write about her…at least get her profession right.

The new MacBooks have arrived and I’ve been ever so good this year. Ever so good.
Look at the black one…isn’t it nice? It would go ever so well with the black video ipod, wouldn’t it? I think it would also look very swell with that Samsung A900 phone you’ve been wanting to get me too. I know that’s a lot of black, but I promise not to “go goth” and start smoking clove cigarettes or anything. Rally, I do. I bet if I had this computer I could make a little movie so you could see how my eyelashes are batting right now.
Sigh.

Yeah, it pretty much sucks sweaty goat balls…but, like in a good way. Brad Pitt, who, let’s face it, hasn’t been good in anything since Kalifornia (“Put yer’ titty back up Aay-delle!”…AWESOME) is like a walking, talking, man-sized dildo. You know the kind? The creepy “life-like” dildos with like veins and shit? Well, imagine if one of those were like 5’9 and talked like it had another, smaller type dildo stuck in the back of it’s throat…. aaaaand that’s pretty much Brad’s performance as the tragicomic, Achilles.
Then we have Orlando Bloom dressed as Aladin and sporting, I’m pretty certain, the exact same fake chest used by Ricardo Montalban in the Wrath of Kahn. Anyway, he plays Paris whose brother is Hector, “tamer of horses” (I don’t want to know how he got that title) and his father is Peter O’Toole who looks like a member of Earth, Wind and Fire.
So, yeah basically a bunch of shit goes down after Aladin, er, I mean Paris diddles Helen of Troy (played by some sort of German Long Necked Mongoose) and literally, I wouldn’t shit you about this….he gives her a pearl necklace.
Anyway, so she decides that Aladin can totally “show her the world” so she leaves her husband played by Brendan Gleason, who I’m sure should have found something better to do…and thus some ships are launched, yadda yadda yadda.
Lars and I only made it about 45 minutes in when we decided that staring at the irregularities in our popcorn ceiling might be a better use of our time.
Our original plan was to watch both Troy and Alexander, back to back “on demand”…but, there really aren’t enough pain-killers in the world.

So, Friday night Lars and I were watching Keith Olbermann as we always do when the “Worst Person in the World” segment came on and the words, “but today’s worst person in the world is Laura Lee Medley…”
Say what?
Here is the course my brain took:
Hey, weird…Keith just said our last name.
Laura Lee is like Lorelie.
That’s a lot like Lars’ sister’s name.
*Picture of a woman who looks kind of like if Lars had a bruisery type looking older brother appears on the screen*

“Is that your sister?”
“Uhhhh”
“Is it?”
“Holy shit.”

Yes, my sister-in-law Laura Lee Medley was Keith’s worst person in the world on Friday. Not Worse. Not Worser….but, THE WORST. She has apparently been suing cities in California for ADA non-compliance because she supposedly sustained injuries while trying to navigate her wheelchair. What’s bad about that? Well, for one….she isn’t handicapped. When Las Vegas police attempted to arrest her, she told them she needed to go to the hospital…they took her and while there she leapt from her chair and tried to make a frigging run for it. She was caught of course and is now awaiting extradition back to California.
The irony in all this (well, besides meeting my sister-in-law for the first time via cable news) is that her brother (my hot husband) has been working for most of his adult life with developmentally disabled people and is an activist on behalf of the disabled.
Her bullshit stunt and the way it’s being portrayed by the Associated Press and Reuters is going to make it more difficult for actual disabled people to file complaints.
Fox News even referred to her as a “paraplegic activist”…uh yeah except she’s neither…she’s just your run of the mill con-artist, which is totally clear if you’re willing to read more than one paragraph… but, I guess “paraplegic activist” trying to be all liberal and fuck the system just sounds sexier.
At least Keith kept it real and all we could do was laugh like we would if it were some other jackass from someone else’s family.
Yeah, so my world just got a lot, lot smaller.

Seth at Pajiba did an awesome write up of the season finale , Lars and I are only two episodes away from having rewatched the entire season sans UPN breaks and commercials and I’ve now read at least 105 pages of TWOP forum chatter. TWOP forums are a strange vortex to find youself in. Most of the chat is intelligent, funny and thought provoking, but the occassional teen does stumble in to remind you that today’s youth really don’t have any attention span. I mean really…I understand missing some things, but if you can’t keep up on the major plot points of a serialized television show (albeit a very complicated, but not Anna Karenina complecated television show), you have a problem.
Much chatter has been made of the season bookended Logan/Veronica La Pieta poses on Veronica’s couch. While the shots, in both episodes were beautiful what exactly are they trying to say about Logan and Veronica’s “epic” relationship? At the beginning of the season Veronica saved Logan (of course that only lasted about three seconds and then came the Delays, “Long time coming” Donut montage, but for one brief moment she was the only person he could be with. The only person who really understood him). At season’s end it is Logan who saves Veronica quite literally from both being killed and becoming a killer.