Lateshoes

Angie and I are playing in Provo this Friday at Starry Night.

Stanley got his junk licked by our neighbor’s dog yesterday. She’s twice his size and the only other dog he’ll submit to. Now we know why.

But, Janice Dickinson is leaving Top Model and I really need to talk about it.
Let’s be frank, ANTM has been slipping as of late and in all honesty I think that Cover Girl’s influence over who wins the competition is the primary cause. I mean, it’s clear they want a spokesmodel…they want a sweet, wholesome little shill and their influence was totally clear in the elimination of Brittany. Brittany was a loud, drunken, party-slut but, she was clearly the best “model” of the bunch. She just didn’t fall in line with the “Cover Girl image.”
See and I think that J.D.’s departure is a direct result of Brit’s elimination. Fucking Cover Girl. Are we really expected to watch a Janice-less Top Model? I don’t think I can…you guys, I’m freaking out.
Ya know who they should get rid of is that worthless, little dickslap, Mr. Jay. Now that’s something I could get behind.

Stan is starting to look all growed up. Sigh.

Sorry…I’m experimenting with picasa and all of it’s fine photo editing features. It’s an addiction, I’m not proud.

Team Jabberwalkies!! We will break you. If you die, you die!

Desperation is the worlds worst cologne… or whore yourself for a free, ugly hat, see if I care. If you look closely at the back of this picture you can see me and my teamates lurking in the shadows under a tree, just about to make our escape.

The mayor leading the dork fest. We were well on our way to the Gateway mall where we would enjoy fish n’ chips and the fine atmosphere of a sports bar. Good times.

When Angie and I first started writing music we could barely play our instruments, but we pumped out song after song, until we slowly developed into an actual rock band.
Our early songs are filled with hilarious gems with titles like Rat boy and Stalker song.
I can hardly wait for these lyrics to be housed beneath 3 feet of bullet proof glass at the Rock n’ Roll hall of fame:

the first time i saw RED i was out with my friends
you came walkin in with barbara streisand
lookin so proud with yentyl at your side
forget you, she can be your hairy ass bride
i don’t need you or your monkey boy ways
besides i couldn’t kiss you with all that hair on your face
forget your computers and your funky guitar
i just wanna tell you how ugly you are

you’re no rolling stone (i saw red)you’re no al capone (he is dead)there’s no joey ramone (in your bed)you’re no fuckin’ merlin jones

it used to be friendly but now it’s all weird
call me punk again and i’ll rip out your beard
i burn your paper on my fire place
next on the grill is your ugly ass face
you call them mix-ed tapes, but they’re mix tapes, you dope
now stand on this stool while I get me some rope
you’re going down, there’s no place to run
bend over baby you’re in for some fun

you’re no rolling stone (i saw red)you’re no al capone (he is dead)there’s no joey ramone (in your bed)you’re no fuckin’ merlin jones

ah! ah! ah! ah! ah! ah! ah! ah! ah!ah! ah! ah! ah! ah!

you’re no rolling stone (i saw red)you’re no al capone (he is dead)there’s no joey ramone (in your bed)you’re no fuckin’ merlin jones

So Salt Lake City is getting fit “together” and I’m a part of it. (It’s this whole thing where we get free pedometers (that suck) and we track how much we walk every day in an effort to get to 10,000 steps per day). It was the kick off this afternoon (pictures to come at some point….I got a really nice one of this lady’s big ass) at the Gallivan Center. Everyone, but our group dorked out in their matching t-shirts and then screeched and grubbed for free, ugly hats as well. Sometimes people really don’t have any dignity.
My group, The Jabberwalkies (so unique and literary)… ditched out early, walked to the Gateway and had lunch.
I realized that we’re the perfect group because none of us are “joiners,” which is to say we have too much pride to wear stupid t-shirts and scream like retards for free shit in public. We just stood there and sized up the competition.
We will crush them.